Why it pays to
Understand Body Language

Understand body language and you will know the truth where words can lie.

In fact, if someone is speaking and their body language says one thing and their words say another, you – along with everyone else – will believe their body language over their actual words, because we understand body language instictively.

Did you know that when someone speaks, what you believe and understand only relies 7% on the actual words they are saying?

Another 38% is what is called “Para-language” which means it is the tone of your voice, the speed and volume with which you speak.

Which leaves 55% unaccounted for. This 58% of what you understand comes from body language.

This is provided of course, you can see the person – conversations on the phone, are a different matter completely.

Understand Body Language: Know What Your Body Is Saying

Most of your understanding of body language is subconscious… you don’t really think about it, you just do it.

However, you can become conscious of your body language and use it to your advantage.

You can appear confident when you are shaking inside. You can seem calm, when you angry or afraid. You can appear cheerful when you are really feeling rather down.

This is not to deliberately mislead anyone, but in a work or business situation, you want to be able to appear in control.

Understand Body Language and use it to help your job interview.

You want to appear confident and self assured, calm and in control.

Not many people actually feel that way as they walk into a job interview, but by being in control of and understanding your body language you can appear so and carry off your interview with finesse.

Understand Body Language: Reading the Messages

When you are not consciously controlling your body language, it tends to be a reflection of what is going on inside. If you are angry, annoyed, bored, happy, enthusiastic … it all shows in your body language.

This is natural and perfectly fine.

However, there are times when you want to give a specific impression, and at these times it is good to know what body language gives out what messages.

People respond most positively to what we call “open” body language.

This includes good eye contact – but not staring the other person down. It includes unfolded arms, uncrossed legs, a generally relaxed stance or seated posture and a friendly, open look on your face.

Often people who have open body language will use movement to express what they are saying, such as hand and facial gestures.They understand body language as the powerful tool it is.Closed body language indicates either hostility or a “get out of my way” attitude. It is recognized by folded arms, tightly crossed legs, firmly closed mouth and often avoidance of eye contact.

A lack of understanding body language is shown by people who act this way when they want an open or helpful response.

As previously mentioned, one of the occasions when you might have to be conscious of your body language, is when you are in a job interview.

You may be nervous and unsure of how you’ll do, so you’re subconscious gives you protective body language. But an understanding of body language helps you to be aware of this, and you can then practice your open moves before the interview.

Understand Body Language and use it to get ahead

One trick I found very useful for job interviews, was to practice how I would sit.

Before an interview, I would place a chair in front of a mirror and sit on it as if I was in an interview.

I would close my eyes, and tell myself I felt confident. I would settle into a position on the chair that made me feel confident, making sure I was using open body language.

Then I would open my eyes and look at how I was sitting. I would both see it visually and feel it. I then could see and understand the body language that would make me appear (and also feel) most confident.

This is my confident. “I can do it” interview position, I would tell myself. I did it a few times just like that.

Then when I was in an actual job interview, I would sit down on the chair in that same position, and because my subconscious now associated that position with confidence, I immediately felt confident.

I also felt confident because I knew my understanding of body language was helping me send the message I wanted to send.

It may seem silly, or unnecessary – but it really does work.

It’s based on the same theory that professional speakers use, when they go to the location of their presentation before the scheduled time, so they can visualize themselves making a successful presentation in that environment.

Understand Body Language and use the Mirroring Technique

Have you ever noticed that when friends are together chatting, they instinctively use the same movements and body language. When one smiles: the other smiles.

When one leans forward, elbows on the table, the other follows suit. They’re not mimicking each other deliberately, but it happens naturally when there is strong rapport.

They don't need to understand body language to do this. It just happens without them even thinking about it.

You can use this to your advantage.

Understand Body Language and use it to Create Rapport

When you want to create rapport with someone – again, let’s us the job interview situation – you can use your understanding of body language to gently mirror their movements.

Obviously, you can’t copy every move or it will be very obvious and insulting. Just follow along subtly.

It will create a warmer feeling, one of more comfort in each others company.

As you practice this, if you see the other person looking at you having noticed what you’re doing – stop immediately. It only works if it appears to be happening instinctively. Never make it seem forced or artificial.

It works in two directions. The person with whom you are speaking will begin to feel more rapport with you, and you will begin to feel more comfortable with them … and then natural mirroring will start to occur as rapport deepens.

So no matter what situation you find yourself, use your understanding of body language as a strong communication tool that can work for you.