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Self Improvement and MotivationThis may sound strange. If you are motivated towards self improvement, you want change! Right? Yes, it is right, but that does not remove the fear of change. Think about it – you can only ever fear with is in the future. You never fear what is in the past. You fear what might change. You fear might prove to be out of your control. You want to lose weight, to have a successful business, to get married, have kids, quit your job and travel around the world for a year or so … the list is endless. Why don’t you do it? Because doing any of these things involves change. You may say “I like change, I thrive on change, I embrace change.” And perhaps you do …to some extent. But big changes are scary to anyone and are the main reason people avoid or abandon their goals of self improvement and motivation gets lost. There are four common reactions to change. The first two hold back self improvement and destroy motivation, but as we move into the latter two we find both our energy and direction restoring. The first one is Denial. We deny the change is necessary. If it is happening, we deny it is happening. We act as though everything were just how it has always been for as long as we possibly can. Denying change is happening is very de-motivating. It prevents us from dealing with the change both emotionally and practically. As it creeps up on us and makes itself more and more difficult to deny, it causes great stress. If only we can manage to look the change straight in the face we will be more motivated and growth – self improvement – will take place as we move forward with our lives. The second chain around the ankle of self improvement and motivation is Resistance. If we can convince ourselves that the change is all negative then we also can convince ourselves we’re doing the right thing by not embracing it, and in fact, by trying everything we can to prevent it. To heighten the power of our conviction, we may get angry, show frustration, refuse to be part of it, get depressed and lose all motivation. This is our way of showing our determination not to give up what we are used to in favor of something new. Resistance needs time to abate, time to lessen and soften. We need time to let the idea of the change take root in our minds and hearts, so we can begin to move forwards without reluctance on our path of self improvement and motivation soars as we start the journey and find it good. The third step is where we tentatively explore the change, and what it means for us. We look at the options for self improvement and motivation returns gradually as we see the opportunity appearing in the midst of the risk and the change. We start to think of ways to make it all happen faster or at least more effectively. We try to think of creative ways around obstacles. We look at where we are, where is our place in this new environment created by the change. What are the opportunities for us. We still don’t quite know where we are headed, but we’re involved in the process and moving forward. And the last step in the change process is Commitment. Here we are “on board”, actively involved and part of the new order of things. Here self improvement happens as we learn new things, accept new ways, and motivation increases as we see the new taking shape with us a part of it all. We may even get excited and enthusiastic about how things are going. The new, the changed situation, is now part of our lives. We’ve accepted it, embraced it and have added it to our list of experiences and knowledge. Every positive change is step towards self improvement and motivation that moves us forward to even more changes, more growth and more opportunities. The first steps can be difficult, but as we grow and accept things fall back into perspective and allow us to make the best of what life offers to us. (Based on the work by William Bridges on the topic of Change)
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